“It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you.”
St. John Paul II
I have always been a "milestone" type of guy. I like knowing the next step and knowing how long it’s going to take to get there. Graduate high school, go to college. Graduate college, get married. Get married, have children. I’m pretty adept at mapping out plans and identifying requirements and I am constantly giving myself specific windows of time to conquer, with the promise of a break or some peace at the destination. "If I can just get through these next six weeks of work…Once we finish this project…" Once the initial shock of Peter’s cancer diagnosis and surgery wore off and we received his intensive treatment plan, my response was almost instinctual. "Okay Dan, 60 weeks," I said to myself immediately and it has become my narrative with others when they ask after Peter. "Two weeks down, 58 to go." As I shared my sound byte with one friend and acknowledged my countdown, he very gently offered some advice. "That’s a long countdown Dan, try not to miss all the goodness that happens as you wait for it to be over." After I hung up the phone and went upstairs, I noticed 13-year-old Annie reading sweetly to her little brother. As I watched from a distance, 10-year-old Katie came in and kissed Peter on the forehead. Later, as we said prayers together and asked for the intercession of so many saints, 4-year-old Norah threw in "Superman, pray for us," very seriously toward the end of our litany and the rest of us burst out laughing, much to her chagrin.
For how many of these almost 39 years of life have I been looking toward tomorrow and missing today? Though I target all of these destinations, do I ever really arrive or do I keep striving for something that is already around me? Do I believe the Lord wants me to "just get through" or is it that I need to allow Him to just get through to me? Our family has literally been brought to our knees together in prayer. Is that really such a bad place to arrive? Perhaps that’s a milestone we don’t want to just reach and pass by. "Abide in me, and I in you." As fast as I want to run through this part of the race, maybe it’s the way I run it that matters most. Prayers for you to stay well in the places you might otherwise want to pass this week.