The Summer I Turned Thirty

I’m blessed with a large extended family through my wife, Tricia, who is the seventh of eight children. Since I am a bit younger, I sometimes find myself closer to some of our nieces and nephews than to her siblings, which occasionally leads to the delusion that I am their peer rather than their uncle.

I recently received an invitation to my niece Christina’s 30th birthday party, which was karaoke themed. While pretending like I was kidding, I began to prepare a wide catalog of songs to perform at the celebration, including a list of people I would choose to sing with each of them. Am I a gifted singer? There is some debate. Do I crave attention? I think that’s pretty clear. After sharing my ideas with Christina’s youngest sister, she subtly reminded me that her big sister’s friends would also be there and would, perhaps, want a turn.

As the party and performances began, I decided to demonstrate some self-control. I realized, looking at my niece, her friends, and the younger cousins, that it wasn’t my time to sing all the songs. As I sat back, I realized that as much as I love my nieces, nephews, and a great karaoke song, the summer I turned thirty was actually a long time ago.

Did I end up singing a few songs? Yes. Two songs, to be exact. How did it go? It was epic, as anyone would imagine. But at the same time, it was clear to me that it was also time to enjoy the party from a different perspective. It was time to sing along rather than sing a solo.

As my wife congratulated me for my restraint on the way home, I couldn’t help but think about how often in my work I stress the importance of handing the microphone to the next generation, yet neglect to give them a turn at karaoke. In life and leadership, where else is it important to move from being on stage to being in the audience? Where might a duet be better than continuing a solo? Who can I encourage to step out as I take a step back?

At 43, I think I still have a lot of songs left to lead, but if I’m not intentional in sharing leadership and opportunities, the summer I turn fifty might find me dancing on my own. As we get to sing new songs this week, let’s make sure we aren’t hogging the mic but instead, create opportunities for those who come after us.

P.S. – I bet you can’t guess what 1990s Annie Lennox song I crushed alongside my niece Christina at her party.