“Jesus understands our weaknesses and sins; and he forgives us if we allow ourselves to be forgiven.”
Our lease is up in December and we will be moving HQ a few miles west. Last week we went to the new space with our planner, who had lots of wonderful ideas for natural light and collaboration. Unfortunately, one of his ideas required losing a workstation near where my office would be. Always the problem solver, I suggested that my office house a couple of workstations including one for me. After all, I’m usually on the road and when I am in the office, I’m usually barricaded in the conference room for a marathon of meetings. How magnanimous to suggest my space for the greater collaborative good! Over lunch I recounted my brilliant suggestion to a couple of colleagues. One person instinctively began choking, another uncontrollably exclaimed “kill me now,” and I’m pretty sure a third, highly introverted coworker nearly passed out for a few moments. Realizing that I might be taking their reactions personally, my colleagues tried to explain that it wasn’t so much me, as my role, that would make the proposed working arrangement awkward. Beyond the introvert/extrovert chasm that would be challenging enough, the sense that they’d be under the microscope all day every day was too much.
As I drove home, still in shock at their repulsion, I reflected on their perception of me. I desired relationship, they feared judgment. I saw the potential for collaboration, they saw the chance for intrusion. While their space concerns made sense for a productive office, I couldn’t help but relate the whole experience to how I relate to God. Do I seek to engage with Him in only the formal settings where I can present the person I think He wants me to be? Or, do I let Him into my space, to see how I work, to know where I struggle and how many times I make mistakes? He wants collaboration. Do I see intrusion? Do I really believe I can keep the Lord only in the spaces I want Him to be? As I recently heard one good bishop say, “when you begin to put everything in God’s hands, you’ll begin to see God’s hands in everything.” Here’s to a divine sense of “open concept.”