It’s all your fault. I fell down the steps yesterday. I fell down 14 hard, wood steps while I was preoccupied with what to write for this week’s DIAL. Okay, so maybe it’s not all your fault, but the truth is, it hurt…a lot. Thanks be to God because it could’ve been a lot worse. As I lay at the bottom of the steps wondering if I could get up, I locked eyes with the panicked looks from Tricia and the kids still at the top. The baby and Peter were screaming, the two older girls were paralyzed with fear and Tricia was telling me to stay still. My instinct was to not let them see me like that - to get up and reassure them. I tried to tell them I was fine but I wasn’t. I was hurt. I eventually made my way over to the couch. Our oldest took the baby and Peter in the basement to play. Our seven-year old just sat next to me and held my hand. I assured her I was fine and she just looked at me and said, “You always help me feel better when I fall. Sometimes I can help you.”
Keeping the ice packs on my bruised back, I reflected about the afternoon’s adventure. When I fall in leadership, how do I let those I lead experience my pain? Do I project strength to try and protect them or does what I share invite them to step forward and offer their gifts? Do I keep them at a distance with my pride or communicate how much I need them in my weakness? How about with God and my sin? Am I hobbling along bruised and broken, trying to hide my pain from Him, or am I asking for Him to help me “get back up” and heal me? I was thankful for the reminder yesterday, but hoping that my next lesson requires a few less steps. Happy Thanksgiving!