“Discernment seeks a glimpse of that unique and mysterious plan that God has for each of us, which takes shape amid so many varied situations and limitations. It involves more than my temporal well-being, my satisfaction at having accomplished something useful, or even my desire for peace of mind.”
They say "Zoom Fatigue" is real. I am a believer. During the last three months, my normal propensity to cram way too many things into a day has only been exacerbated by this new ability that actually has existed for quite some time to teleport myself into different interactions and move from one meeting to another even quicker than before. This past week, I had a lot of one-on-one Zooms and by Friday, the virtual marathon turned into a near out-of-body experience. My wife often teases me about not being able to walk past a mirror and not look at myself. It’s true. I own it. Vanity is a core sin of mine. But as Zoom followed Zoom, particularly when it was just me with one other person, it was as if I was watching a movie about myself. And friends, the movie wasn’t always pleasant. In more cases than I care to admit, I found myself telling the character, that looked a lot like me, to act differently, but to no avail. Whether it was stubbornness or pride, exhaustion or the role that this character felt he was expected to play, he couldn’t or wouldn’t hear my silent coaching to have the movie end differently.
Closing my laptop for a needed weekend break, I couldn’t help but reflect on how uncomfortable it is to see a playback of ourselves in the first place, let alone be able to zoom in on the opportunities to improve the picture quality. As a leader, can I hit pause and really discern the role God is asking me to play in the particular leadership moment that is in front of me? Do I invite the Holy Spirit to help spotlight those gifts that will help me respond to that moment? Before I make that post, share that comment, or especially in my case roll those eyes, am I thinking beyond my immediate emotions and asking how the Lord wants this plot to turn out? We might be able to mute our sound or hide our video from others, but we can’t hide our consciences from the One who gifted them to us. Let’s ask Him to help us zoom in on what’s happening on the inside for us so that He can shape what we share on the outside.