Great Expectations

When I began traveling for work about 15 years ago, my oldest, who was six years old, would cry and ask me why I had to go away. I tried to explain all the good I was doing and how she was helping by helping her mom while I was gone. One night, she asked, “Why do you do all this for priests?” I still remember my answer: “Priests and the Church have been there in the absolute best and worst moments of my life. I want that for you. So, I don’t do all this for priests; I do it with priests, for you.”

All these years later, my youngest, now nine years old, cries even more than her sister and asks the same question when I travel. A few months ago, as I left her crying in her pillow and went across the hall into 12-year-old Peter’s room to say goodnight, I proactively apologized for his sister’s tears and how I would miss yet another one of his baseball games. His response, said nonchalantly as he read his book, stopped me cold: “Oh, don’t worry, Dad, I don’t expect you at my things.” His assumption was worse than the wailing.

If I’m honest, so often, the expectations of others—even my own family—can feel like a burden at times. I tell myself I’m doing my best to fit in what I say is most important. But often, I’m cramming it into the tiny spaces I have leftover. I try to convince myself that what I’m prioritizing is worth it, and while it may be extremely worthy, is it worth having those closest to me no longer expecting me?

In life and leadership, do we consider others’ expectations of us as a blessing or a curse? How do we understand the Lord’s expectations of us through what others might be asking? Can we listen through the tears or the whines for the beauty and importance of our deepest call?

I want my kids to expect me. I think the Lord does too.

The last twenty-five years at Catholic Leadership Institute have been an incredible journey for me. When I reflect back, even over just the last year, I’ve been blessed to experience so many wonderful milestones that make me proud. As I approached another milestone of10 years as CEO, it invited me into discernment with my wife, Tricia. What is God calling me to for the next two decades?

As I announced last week, earlier this summer, I shared with the Board of Directors that I would be stepping down as President and CEO so that I can explore my next chapter and renew that presence to my family. In gratitude for how wonderful this apostolate has been to me, I offered to stay in my role through the search for my successor. Thankfully, the Board has elected Jason Shanks to succeed me as CEO and promoted our COO, Mike School, to the role of President.

I am honored that the organization has invited me to serve as a Board member and continued advisor to our bishops. One of our top priorities over the last decade has been to build the strongest team possible as we’ve grown so quickly. This apostolate has never been in better hands to realize every future opportunity and need the Lord has placed in front of it.

As Catholic Leadership Institute experiences this transition and as I begin my next chapter, please keep both in your prayers. Don’t miss the beauty of what others, especially those closest to you, expect of you. It’s not a burden; it’s a blessing. Remember to keep your eyes and your heart open to the great expectations the Lord has for you.

PS - I know a very small number of you have come to expect these Monday emails over the last decade. They’ll keep coming, at least, for as long as I’m in this chair!