Mentor Meter

One of the things I know for sure about my next chapter is that I want to devote some time to mentoring and coaching young people. Unsurprisingly, I threw myself into the deep end recently by “helping” four young adults—with little examination of the implications. The only problem was that I forgot how old I am and how much energy it takes to engage young people. I had grand dreams about the experiences I would be able to provide these aspiring leaders. Two weeks in, I wasn’t sure what I should actually have them do, and now, I have become increasingly sure that I don’t know what I’m doing in my own life.

Thankfully, I got to reconnect with my own mentor whom I don’t get to see all that often. She reached out to reconnect when she heard I was making a change in my professional career. As we caught up over a long lunch full of updates and laughter, I felt gratitude for what I have always had for Katie. She is someone who seeks to know and helps me know who I am apart from what I do. In such a beautiful way, our visits—however infrequent—are the same as they were when I was 14 years old and first met Katie. She is someone who doesn’t see me for what I’m doing, but who sees and encourages me for who she knows I can be.

As I walked back to the office where one of my young adult mentees was awaiting some direction from me, I couldn’t help but think about all the times in life, leadership, and discipleship where I fall into the trap of assessing or cajoling people to do something rather than encouraging them to “be” something. While activity can be formative, do I unintentionally form people to believe that they are what they can complete? Do I stunt people’s growth by projecting today’s capacity over tomorrow’s potential?

When I was in high school, Katie wrote a paper about me for her organizational development graduate program that I still have to this day. It had nothing to do with what I had accomplished or what I might do one day. It was about the leader she saw in the present moment.

With Katie as my inspiration, I decided that the next meeting with the high school junior I get to mentor won’t only focus on what she needs to do or what I can teach her but will begin my research to write the paper about the leader she is today. As we begin this new week, let’s see each other, young or old, not for what we can do but who the Lord is calling us to be.