Streaking

For 225 weeks, my Peloton has been congratulating me for maintaining my impressive exercise streak. The problem is that I’m a giant fraud. It began by going on a ride or doing some lifting every day. And while I am probably in the best shape of my life (which is a relatively low bar), my 30 or 45-minute daily intermediate rides slowly shifted toward a 10-minute cool-down ride once or twice a week — not because my workout was so intense but because it allowed me to keep the streak alive.

A few weeks ago, I realized it was Sunday around 10:00 p.m. and I hadn’t used the Peloton all week (or should I say, I hadn’t logged a workout all week). As I selected a 5-minute meditation, pressed play, and went to bed without listening, I didn’t feel relieved; I kept the streak alive. I just felt shame.

Today, I woke up and the streak was officially over. “Do you feel free?” My wife teased. “Now you can start again, for real.”

As I pedaled for the first time (in a long time), I felt pain in my hip, but strangely, peace in my soul. I couldn’t help but reflect on other aspects of my life, leadership, and faith where I’m fixated on maintaining something, not because it’s helpful or necessary, but because I can’t admit the truth to myself or others. How often am I missing the value or avoiding the crux of the issue because I’m worried about making the scoreboard look the way I want? When do my rationalizations move from reasonable explanations to unhealthy lies? In all my walks, runs, and rides with the Lord, how willing am I to be real about how I’m struggling and ask for His help versus pretending to be somewhere we both clearly know I’m not?

Since my streak officially ended, I now have two legitimate exercises under my belt. As we continue to exercise our bodies, minds, and especially our souls, let’s do the real work to seek Him and know He is always cheering us on even when we fall short.