“Among these ideologies, I consider particularly insidious the one that suggests that every person must earn or justify his or her own worth, to the point of attributing greater value to those who are more efficient or effective.”
– Pope Leo XIV
Given my occupation, people often share self-help or personal development books for me to read. The truth is, I rarely get through most of them. But as summer began, I decided to try to chip away at the pile accumulating on my nightstand. As I flipped through a text, the author cited the quote commonly attributed to Theodore Roosevelt: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” They made a compelling argument that much of our dissatisfaction, in one way or another, comes from looking at others and wishing, hoping, or striving to be better than them or have more than they do.
No sooner had I put down the book than I found myself on a Zoom call with a business leader making an equally compelling argument that one of the most impactful and important disciplines in leadership is benchmarking – in essence, comparing yourself to someone else. My business friend was lamenting that in the nonprofit and especially in faith-based organizations, there seems to be a particular allergic reaction to benchmarking. I knew he was right, not only about its value, but also about our reluctance to compare ourselves in matters of faith and service. At the same time, I could also see how unhealthy comparisons I was making in my own life and leadership were leading me nowhere but to anger and disappointment.
As I left the Zoom meeting and sat back in my chair, I couldn’t help but wonder: when does comparison rob us of joy or help us find it? Reflecting on my own journey and those I’ve had the privilege to accompany, the difference really comes down to two things: purpose and context. Am I comparing myself to another to make excuses for what I don’t have, or to inspire me to be more? Am I considering benchmarks to prove a point, or to stretch my thinking? Whether I’m looking at the life of a business competitor or the lives of the saints, do I consider their whole story before wishing to simply arrive where they did? Have I considered where I started and what I have experienced before thinking I should already be somewhere?
Benchmarks only work if we do the work of asking where God is calling us to be and whom He has given us to show us the way. As we strive to grow in our individual holiness, let’s be sure to see each other as benchmarks that lead us to ultimate joy.
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