“There is no better witness to the love of Christ than meeting a patient Christian.”
– Pope Francis
I have unbelievably reached the phase of life where my eldest has begun to look at colleges. As a former admissions professional and student tour guide, I’ve taken the lead on helping my daughter coordinate some campus tours. After three tours in two days, I now fully understand why my father paid me one summer to bring my younger brother around so he himself could be spared from this part of the selection process.
However, that all changed on this most recent trip which ended with a visit to the number-one-ranked, most beautiful campus in America: my alma mater, the University of Richmond. The number of ways I embarrassed my daughter was endless: the excessive nodding while the tour guide spoke; pointing out buildings and relaying memories that were only interesting to me; talking loudly enough with my UR sweatshirt on so others on the tour would realize I was an alum and ask me questions about my experience.
As I peppered Annie with leading questions on our drive home, she shared that she liked it a lot but joked that it was a little hard to get a sense of what her experience might be given how big my experience was on the tour. I reminded her who was going to be footing the bill for wherever she goes to college and then dialed back my questioning.
As we drove a route back home that I had driven so many times over twenty years ago, I thought about how different the road now looks, how different the world is, and (despite getting many traits from me) how different my daughter is from me. How often in life and leadership has my passion been overwhelming for others rather than inspiring? Despite my good intentions for someone to have what I have, when does sharing my perspective turn into projection when they need to discern things for themselves instead? As a disciple, I’m called to give witness to others. Do I emphasize what God has done for me, or exhort what others should do for God?
As we finished our drive, I reminded Annie that this was her discernment, and we had plenty of time to visit more schools. As we continue this season Lent, let’s truly accompany each other toward where the Lord is calling us to go, and not just where we might want each other to be.
Go Spiders!
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