“Faith does not spare us from the possibility of sin, but it always offers us a way out of it: that of mercy.”
– Pope Leo XIV
We have now entered a new chapter of family life with two children in high school at the same time. Given that one of those children has a license and access to a car, I am of the strong opinion that these sisters should drive to and from school together, relieving some of our parental Uber duties. In theory, the girls agree. In practice, it’s a daily battle of wills: Will someone wake up on time? Will someone wait two more minutes? Will they be speaking to each other by the time they arrive at school?
How many times will I lose my cool and make empty threats?
On one particularly contentious morning, the eldest decided to leave the other sister at home with little hesitation. As I begrudgingly drove her sister to school, contemplating what empty threat might come next, the eldest called with a desperate plea for me to go back home and grab something she forgot. I replied with an annoyed tone and began lecturing her on the importance of mercy and one’s desire to receive it vs. give it. Let’s just say the lesson wasn’t well received in that moment.
As I made my third trip to the high school I wasn’t supposed to visit at all that day, I called my wife looking for some sympathy. While Tricia certainly understood my frustration, she also suggested that maybe I needed to refine my parental teaching approach: “Dan, I’m not sure making your mercy contingent on her doing better is the best way to teach her about it.”
Whether in my family, with my friends, or with those I lead and serve, how contingent is my mercy? While I often expect it from anyone am I willing to share it as widely? How tied is my forgiveness to the extent to which someone tells me I’m in the right? Whether I am right or not, I can’t model mercy by holding it over another’s head. How does the mercy I receive from the Lord inform how I share it with others?
As my eldest child approached the car to get what she had forgotten, I gave her a hug and told her that I loved her. She asked how she could thank me, and I told her to find her sister in the hallway and give her the same hug. As we begin this new week, let’s be sure that in any of the lessons we might need to share with others that we follow the model of the Ultimate Teacher in our delivery.
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