When She Speaks

The entirety of my professional career has been spent in the non-profit world - specifically in the Church - so I’m very aware that my perspective is limited. However, I’ve observed that most of us struggle to speak well. Whether it's among volunteers or in committee meetings, we tend to fluctuate between two extremes: we are either reluctant to tell the pastor/bishop/executive director/principal what he or she needs to hear or we advocate with such a passion and confidence based on personal agenda, individual anecdote, or unhelpful hearsay that we rarely get to the heart of the matter. We have a hard time admitting when we’re wrong, and this contributes to our challenge in our ability to listen. (By the way, I could’ve easily substituted “I” for “we.” But it’s more than just me.)

However, there’s a person involved in our ministry who I want to be when I grow up because when she speaks, everyone listens. I listen. And I listen because her words are never superfluous yet always thorough. She isn’t afraid to ask hard questions or call out unnecessary details, yet even more impressively, she doesn’t mind admitting to others when she was wrong. Instead, she laughs at herself. Most importantly though, I listen because there’s never a doubt that when she speaks, her agenda is the mission at hand. It’s for the sake of the Gospel.

As I listened to her recently, I couldn’t help but wonder: how would people describe the way I speak? When was the last time I did an examination of conscious communication? Am I honest in my words? Do I speak with intentionality? When I ask questions, am I open to the answers? And if someone is courageous enough to offer correction when I need it, am I mature enough to acknowledge it with gratitude? In a world full of more words and so much noise, I am convinced that our defining identity as Catholics is our willingness and ability to speak the truth in authentic love - a love that wills not our own agenda, but the good of the other.

My friend has a stated goal of never appearing in one of these posts, so you will just have to pray that you have the chance to meet her someday. When you do, you’ll know because when she speaks, you’ll listen. May we be people who speak in a way that calls others to the truth of His great love.